For some reasons...I am feeling a bit pissed now...not exactly pissed..but just kind of unhappy...lately...as in today, I been having some misunderstanding with friends..not exactly misunderstanding though..but its hard to explain...ok...I have this bunch of friends..whom I am not that close to...its not that I dont enjoy their company...but...ok..when I was schooling and all of them were working...they chose to meet up and have dinner at places..which can cost as expensive as 50 bucks...and to a school girl like me, 50 bucks for a meal is far to expensive...in fact, as a working adult now..I think spending 50 bucks..for a meal of my own, is no difference from splurging...apart from special ocassions..I think I shouldnt spend so much on solely a meal...anyway, this group of friends were people I meet during birthday celebrations...yes, they did celebrate birthday with me once..and I was touched...but last year...they did not...and yet, during other people's birthday, I am expected to chip in for the food and the presents...and though some of those in the group knows its my birthday, they didnt even bother to wish me either..so no one from that group wish me...actually to me, I think I have mentioned many times, I dont need any presents for my birthday...cos those are material stuff...a birthday wish, as simple as a sms means hell lot more than a birthday gift...in fact, if people gives me a birthday present and dont wish me during my birthday, I would think that its meaningless to even give me the present...that was what happened few yrs ago...where my bestie...asked this someone, who used to matter hell lot to me to chip in for my birthday gift...since he has chipped in, he should have know tt it was my birthday...but he din wish me...and it is all quite meaningless lidat...and I am someone who will actually count the number of bdae wishes i receive each year..and keep it with me as long as i can...n so...I am actually quite disappointed with this group of pple whom...only ask me to meet n chip in for birthday ocassion..but during my birthday, not even a birthday wish...actually, I been wanting to tell them about it since last time, but I decided that I will just shut up and let it be...at most, I will only join them some times...cos as much as I am disappointed, I still wish to maintain the friendship with them...and as we grow older...we prefer to spend time with those who means more to us...cos in a way, its really a huge chore to maintain so many friendship...when I mean maintain, it means to meet up and stuff..at one point, I was thinking to even stop meeting them for good...just contact ocassionally through sms or msn is good enough...and some time last week, I was asked to attend someone's birthday, but I didnt cos I had some stuff to do...and then, I was asked to pay for a gift...so...i was asked to chip in before I agree...actually its seriously not about the money...like...its ok to pay 10+ or even 20+...but its kind of annoying when pple ask u to chip in before asking u...and they simply only call u to chip in, but during ur own birthday, they dont even wish u...like...u know what I mean??? So what's the point of me chipping in...if they dont even think for me??? Its not that I need people to give me presents nor wish me...I am more than contented to have those close friends I have got now...( people like Yvonne, Val, Cindy, Waipeng, Xiaoxian, Evonne, Ws, Ch and etcs) and even if they dont give me presents, its completely ok and I mean it! But its the thoughts!!! N its not that I am trying to forgo my friends...cos to me, the more friends the merrier...but I cant help but wonder if these are just my jiu rou peng you, as in those friends who are there to call u in times of enjoyment n etcs...and this is not the first time that I feel this way...so that's why, last yr, partly bcos of the departure of my grandma, I didnt chip in for most of the presents...and besides, as a student, I was damn pooor...people who knows me should know why...but I guess these people has never give a damn...or perhaps they didnt know cos they werent as poor as I do before...in any case...I got quite annoyed when one of them keep asking me to pay up for a present I was asked or rather, told to chip in, without giving me the account number...despite me, asking for it over and over again...and ya, among the group are 3 others whom I am more closed to...even when I met up with them, they din even bother to wish me happy belated birthday...and during their bdae, when i turned down on chipping in due to the fact tt those mourning couldnt chip in to presents according to chinese trad...cos my ggrandma just passed away that time, I was told by one of them tt i would then need to get them a bigger present the following yr...if u were me, how would u feel?? When pple just suddenly forgot tt its ur birthday,...without a bdae wish but ask u to chip in for theirs...plus ask for big presents the folllowing yr..I dont know if u know what I mean..but I am just kinda pissed...and the conversation actually ended...as though I am in the wrong...as though I am so stingy to not even wanna chip in 10+ bucks...wanted to blog about weekend...cos it was hell lots of fun..but this thing really turned me off...seriously I dont know what to say...explaining things sometimes just make things worst...n pple will come to u and say things like..now i know what kind of person u r liao...its not that I dont wanna care...but..the more i explain the worst it gets...ya, I am always in the wrong...if that makes them happy, den ok, I am in the wrong