Ok...when do people blog??? For me, I keep a blog, to document down things I wanna remember....be it good or bad...

So why bother??? Cos to me...if its for a good cause, all the more, I think I should write it down...good things simply equates to anything that make me happy or extremely happy...from simple stuff like meeting someone I like...to achieving something I have always wanted...and since they made me happy, I hope that I can remember them forever...

As for bad things...I want to document it down cos I think they serve as reminders...like..if things happened due to my negligence...or along that line, at least, I can reflect upon myself...and documenting it lets me look back..and reflect on this action..that should not be repeated...

Next..other than trying to remember good stuff and to hav reminders for bad things...mmm most importantly...I keep a blog..to pour out the frustrations in me...as well as to write something when I am feeling helpless or emo...an avenue..for me...to release the negative ions...N right now...I feel like writing...cos...cos I didnt managed to even complete 1 verse for either one of the demo...sighz...

Like...its weird...that sometimes...U hope for something...like...I hope I can write lyrics someday since young...(mayb abt 14 yrs old or 15?) cos when I was young, I remember that there is one lyrics...from Mavis Hee..that taught me how life should be like...and so, I am so amazed by lyricist..and hope that I can be one some day...to help some others...other than writing about life..I also feel that songs sometimes, especially when u are feeling emo and all, is like ur best friends....or I should say, bestest friend...why? Cos...its like...yes, when u are down and all, ur friends can try to listen to u..try to understand ur feelings...but sometimes, no matter how hard they try, its hard for them to totally understand wat u r feeling...cos...everyone is different...due to the different life experience they have...and then...u will be amazed that what u are feeling..can be found in a song! Like wow! The lyricist + melody composer actually help to 'dig' out ur inner most feeling...and write it into such a beautiful and yet relevant song to u...and yes, that is the main reason why I hope to be able to write lyrics someday...cos its simply cool and amazing to me...but..yes...BUT!!!

The thing is, when u are in the thing u like, dont know issit because of the high expectation u have of urself...when things dont work the way u want it to be, u feel sianz. and.disappointed with urself...and..thats what I am feeling now...I am not disappointed with myself...but just sianz...as much as I wanna write lyrics for the 2 demos...I cant seem to catch the feel of it...the words...the story...I just cant...and this makes me very helpless...and guess what? I always experience this when I need to write lyrics...sighz...and I actually need some time to adjust my mood to fit into the mood of that song!!! N sometimes...I feel like giving up...but...its supposed to be my passion...sighz...

Just like how I promised my dad before he passed on...tt I will definitely finish my studies..which was quite a mistake...cos it was living hell for the pass 2yrs ++ The thought of quitting school came into my mind for at least 100 times hahahahaha cos I am sure...I am not an engineering person :P but...anyway, I did fulfill my promise to him...and now...its like, this lyrics thing is what I wanted...so..I thought I should just give a bit more..to achieve what I want...but when things like the above happens...I just feel damn helpless....and so... I seriously look up to musicians...be it melody composer or lyricist....how did they manage to write stuff within such a short time frame? I really wonder..

O ya, I thought what my dad once told me..is damn important...before I went into uni...I was quite scared...and he said this...which is what I always remind myself..when I am getting weak..

" When u are going up the mountain to take ur golden hat, there will be many barriers...but once u get it...u will feel proud of urself...there's a will...there's a way...so u should not give up easily..."