AHHHhhh..I need to blog now...cos I am feeling pissed...quite pissed...cos, someone actually dropped my new phone..damn angry! I myself take good care of my own phone, and she just pushed it to the floor, without even looking before sitting down and she can still laugh what the hell!!! So freaking pissed! N sometimes, i really really cant stand her!!!I realised that lately, my temper has gone from bad to worse...and my tolerance level towards people...especially certain people is getting lower and lower...as in, I am easily triggered by them...does it mean that I really need a break? as in go overseas or something?? i really dont know..just feel kind of sian with things sometimes...

This afternoon, I was at home cos I was on MC..something wen through my mind...like why am I so petty lately? Why am I so low tolerance level lately...to a lot of things, and I really hate it..cos be it to the person whom you are of low tolerance level to...or urself...at the end of the day, either it harms both parties...or when u are upset with things...u get upset...either way, u will be affected...so why not 退一步海阔天空？I wanted to...and I used to be like that...but I dont know what changed me...my temper is getting a bit out of hand lately...

Yesterday, I met my manager whom I really respect...I respect her for where she is now...for her capability..and what made me really respect her is the fact that despite being so high up there(yes she is very high up there), she sees everyone with the same eyes...treating everyone fairly and equally...most importantly, her humbleness is what made me admire her...ya, I really really admire her..and secretly hope that I can be like her somedays hahaha...and there was 2 main things that she said that kinda strike me...making me reflect and think about it...I remember her saying something like..most of the time, due to our job nature, our job scope is really ambiguous...there isnt an exact definition to what our job scope is...in short, we cant really choose what we are given...and therefore, there will definitely be a day when we are given task that we dislike...even for herself...sometimes she also come across things that she dislike...and then, usually, if the task are deemed to be no brainer...and when it comes across to u that its somewhat different from what others are given...u felt unbalanced...u felt unhappy...but...think about it...whatever things u are tasked to do, there is always something positive out of it....so..try accepting it with a gracious heart...and then...time will reveal to u that actually, things aint as bad as it is...which is true in most cases！ANyway, I have to clarify that it doesnt mean that I am unhappy when people give me no brainer things..cos I truly believe in what she says...little things like writing minutes, photocopying something can tell others about your character...and there is always something to learn no matter how small the thing is...e.g. u can be in charge of only photocopying something...but if u have many different documents to photocopy...doing it write(correct documents, correct number of copies) can be challenging too...and in case something crop up( people send u wrong files, ur photocopying machine is down), u need to find a workaround situation...and this...makes u learn...

Next...being positive is really important...and attitude...in any places is important..not that u show people attitude..but instead, have the right attitude in everything u do..cos the thing is, with ur right attitude, u make people realise ur seriousness in the things u do...and have a positive attitude in everything u do...

After talking to her...while making my way back, I thought perhaps what she meant was..忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空。。。 and maybe I should just try to do that...and then, try to earth away the negative ions that has been flowing in my body lately(cos I haven been too tolerant to anything...work, people, family）...while taking time to look out for positive ions to me injected back into my body...cos I was once tolerant...once very giving..but what has changed me? i dont Know..but i Just know that I need to come back..and take things at stride...

Anyway, I felt quite fortunate to have her as a manager... :) cos each time after I met her, I think I learn something! :) Sometimes I feel really blessed..to come across successful and humble people like herself..and my professor whom I used to share my thoughts with..cos they made me discover more about myself and some Dos and Donts...and come to think of it, I guess its because though they are really successful, they did not lose the practise of putting others into your shoes and think why they respond the way they did...I used to think in other people's shoe all the time last time...but perhaps I am losing faith in human beings during the time in NTU, i no longer think in other people's shoe as often as I used to...and because they(as in my prof and my manager) do, so, most of the time, instead of reprimanding me, they tell me they understand why I did this, why I did that...but yet doesnt take side with me unneccesarily..but instead, tell me that perhaps this other person(whom u think did something that made u unhappy) did that cos maybe he was feeling this, or that..which didnt really strike me until they tell me...