Tired...n moody...

Sigh...Extreme sigh!!!Haha...ok, I guess this has gotta do with me feeling too tired..or I should say lethargic...Woke up at 730 today as today is the first day of my exam. After which, I went back to NIE, my usual mugging location to continue my mugging session which wasnt too productive due to the fact that I was too tired and all I need was a good sleep...n then to tuition from 430 to 630..and finally back home at 8+


Anyway, at certain point of time, I always ask myself why did I ever land up in NTU computer engineering. N if I did not go to NTU, where will I be and what will I be doing and maybe I will not meet some people that came across my path due to my choice such as my school mates and my part time job colleagues...At times, I regret my choice cos that too much of a suffering for me..hahaa cos as everyone knows, I am not cut out for engineering, therefore making life quite a struggle...N I am always thinking about the bonus that will be rewarded to me if I am still working hahaa...cos my ex company really reward u handsomely!!! However, somehow, I guess I am always easily swayed by others...n in a way, I also dont have the real guts to pursue what is seemingly important to me in my life....and this is solely attributed to my fear of failure..hahaha...n I allow others to make decision for me..in a way, letting people take control of a life that is supposedly mine...Therefore I guess thats the reason why I am constantly feeling sad over people and stuff...cos I let others affect me too much...therefore still in the process of learning to be independent!!N to make decision!!!


Besides that, I also start to realise that I am getting older and older!!! I am no longer the teen that can play around with my life, n it seems to be the time where I really need to find a career and then excel in it...n if I am lucky enough, find someone who is suitable for me and have a great life with him...this made me so old now!!!N I dont seem to be ready for all these...

Some of the things that I cant stand includes:
- my aging skin
-my bad complexion due to stress n aging skin
-the responsibility of an adult
- the rationality expected from adults
-the decisiveness expected from adults

and etcs...Ok...I am thinking too much again!!Haha..ok, sometimes I tend to feel moody and think a lot when my auntie is about to visit me...Anyway, 4 more papers to go and I can rest for good!!!At last I found a motivation to keep me going...

Upcoming plans:
- to pick up cooking hahaa...this has been something that I have been wanting to do
-get a squash racket and start exercising!!!
- hopefully to go for basic theory
- hopefully to enrol in some courses that I am interested in...

Ok thats all folks!!!