I dont know if I wrote this before...but today I just feel like writing some personal stuff instead of something entertaining...


Ya, like what I mention, I feel that life is generally good these days...as in, I am really contended with what I have right now...mmm I may not be a rich person..since I still have the school loans to repay...I may not have everything..since everything to me = money + friendship + love + happiness...but then again, I think I already have part of it...and we should never be too greedy right?

Talking about this, I feel generally happy..cos looking back, my life about 1 yr back and now...is like much more different...as in...it seems that a degree is what everyone sought after...cos obtaining a degree = more opportunity for more decent job...and for that, I am happy and glad that I have got what everyone is trying to sought after, a degree and a decent job...and I feel really blessed to have what I have, up to now...however, for me, frankly speaking...having a degree was not what that made me really happy...

I remember that when I was younger, I always hope that I can grow up to be a career woman some days...driving some very nice car ( n since young, merz has been a car that looks nice to me)...and in order to do that, I know I need to go to the university..so that I can achieve what I want...actually it was with much regrets that I chose polytechnic over junior college out of impulsiveness...during the point where most of my friends go JC..and in fact, someone told me that, " hey, all 3 of us went JC, except u..." and actually I was kinda sad then...but then, the lucky me manage to set my foot into a local uni...

As I have repeated over and over again, life in uni was the toughiest...I had lots to cope with, school was horrendous...and there were other things I need to cope with...and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown many many times...but I can say that the uni life made me grow as a person..in many ways...

1. I used to be able to handle my school work...unless I am lazy, else, there was nothing that I cant really do...cos I used to be a tuition teacher, I was always upset when my student fail to rememeber what i taught them earlier...and it was in uni that made me realise that..yes, there are things which u just cant seem to get it...cos maybe u are weaker in that...for me, its definitely mechanical stuff in uni...so that is where I get to understand my student's difficulty..and try guide them in the way I would want other to guide me...

2. Uni is not as wonderful as it seem to be...it was like so damn cool to get into a uni to me, and especially people like me who come from poly, its even harder...but...in uni, I realised, its really tough...especially when u are not doing tings you are good in..

3. I realised that mindset changes with time and situation..before I got into uni, cos I studied IT, so I forsee myself as an IT professional somedays...cos I thought its damn cool to be one..when I went uni, I got so sick that I almost didnt wanna go into IT...and I will never be an engineer...cos my electronics/physics sucks..any company who employ me to be some electronic engineer will definitely be so damn pissed with me...

4. Going into a uni is my dream...getting a degree is my dream...and in the end, it became a hell...and instead of my own dream...it wasnt cool anymore cos I just wanna quit, I just wanna run away...and in the end...it became a promise to my dad...when he was leaving us..it became a promise to him..that I will complete a degree..


5. working life is complicating...but school life can also be complicating...cos...people gets complicated when we get older...

6. The only memory I wanna preserve in school isnt school work related..if there is, its the elective I took, such as analysing chinese song lyrics(taught by liang wen fu), understanding chinese cinema..and of course my cca, cultural activity club where we help to organise campus concert...


As the years progress...u start to see the true colours of people..and life gets tougher..cos in school...i always have the feeling that everyone is trying to be the best (which till now i am not sure y, cos the thing is...work has nothing to do with school)...and they can do anything to get what they want...and as students, there r noting much u can do cos i dont come from a rich family...its school and school

N slowly, I hated the ugly side of people i see..there was a time where I hate everyone..and my bestest fren, other than y peng and rh...is my professor! How amazing...lol in fact, cos rh and y peng are in different track, the person whom I spoke to the most was my prof...and then, the very much sought after paradise became a living hell hahahaha...and somehow, I always think that I will never graduate...forever stuck there...and then I would say one of the blog I read...which is HYR blog was really inspiring then...

Anyway, I wanted to say that, because of that, I always see that my graduation is something that revived me...like..thought it also meant that I have fulfilled my promise to my dad..but i really feel that I am starting to live all over again after graduation...and I can finally do things that makes me happy...doing lyrics course...learning keyboard...buying things that I want...

Of cos, I would have to say that u need a decent pay to do those...if i din graduate, maybe I cant do wat i want...and I was really glad that I listen to my professor..who advised me to stay in IT line...cos...i am quite contented with what I do as of now...and mmm the thing is, I dont hate IT..but the uni has put me off...but luckily, I managed to heed the advise..and chose a job that they thought suit me...and I am happy and glad doing what I do now in my company...and doing things that I enjoy...

N yes, actually, I dont expect a lot...little things in life makes me happy :)